We have learned that when you make fun of children being molested, your dog dies.

Let that be a lesson to you.

Today’s tip was inspired by Pigspittle, Ohio’s quote of the week.

If you find yourself being waterboarded by the CIA, try to think of it as “swimming, freestyle, backstroke.” That way, it won’t be as traumatic.

Good luck!

I tried this one when we were at Easton (that “lifestyle community” or whatever it’s called.)

Next time you’re in an elevator alone, hit the button for your floor and the “Close Door” button at the same time. This varies by manufacturer, but the elevator may go straight to your floor (as opposed to stopping to pick others up on the way.)

It worked at Easton, but that may have been because no one tried to get on between the ground floor and the third floor.

YMMV.

Don’t take a long weekend. You will get your ass stomped when you get back to work.

Here’s a serious TotD for you Mac users, though: Press F9. Do it. You’d be surprised how many Mac users don’t know this. Also, F11 is pretty darn handy.

I’ve got to get back to work. However, I promise an epic recap of my long weekend tonight. It’s got thrills, spills and chills. DON’T MISS IT!

The word “hamster” is not spelled with a “P”. (i.e. “hampster”)

I have a long history of bailing out of “daily” gimmicks on my blogs and sites, so there is no reason to expect this to be any different. However, I will, for the time being, offer genuine tips on a daily basis. These tips will be absolutely genuine lessons I’ve learned in life. If they help you, great.

Today’s RiF Tip of the Day:

Never Google Image Search the word “jockstrap”.